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Marriage Love

Love is God, something that cannot be defined in a sentence or two. For some it may be belongingness, for some possessiveness, for some patriotism, for some convenience, for some sense of well being, for some absence of sorrows or happiness, the concept may vary from individual to individual depending upon his own expectations and thinking about love. During our college days the much debated topic was love marriage is better or marriage love i.e., arranged marriage. There used to be divided opinions on the topic.

The concept of marriage also varies from place to place, culture to culture and thus has no uniformity when it comes to choosing the life partner. Nevertheless the term marriage is universal and the society by and large accepts it as a legal, ethical, social, religious bonding between the life partners and once married they are called husband and wife. Marriage may be a socio-religious agreement for some, Parinaya sutra for some and kalyanam for some. The customs, traditions, rituals of marriage may vary depending upon the religion, ethnicity, culture, language and community. Some may accept monogamy, some bigamy and polygamy. Some offer dowry to the bride, some to the bridegroom depending upon the sex ratio the customs may have originated and now have become a fad, rather an unwarranted prerequisite. The pros and cons are always an issue of contention for both the sects who favour sharing the wealth with both male and female child equally and those who may call it a social menace.

Both arranged marriage and love marriage have very old examples and are not new to the society. In olden days the marriage of princess was through Swayamwar wherein all the princes of most of the known kingdoms were called to the palace and some criteria to qualify like hitting a tough target by an arrow, or fencing competition were arranged. In some instances the princess would simply walk through the hall observing all the present princes to choose one among them as her bridegroom as per her wish. For a common middle class girl all this could only be a dream hence it was her parents and family's prerogative to marry her and she could only lead a life with her husband irrespective of her choice and accept the life thereafter. It was thought to be fated, God's wish and so on........

Love marriages are also not new. The well known examples of King Shantanu and Satyawati, Dushyant and Shakuntala, Laila Majanu and Antony Cleopatra are a few to quote. Over the period the society has changed a lot and the concept of marriage has also changed accordingly, nevertheless the institution of marriage is still the same.

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. "Women marry men with the hope they will change. "Invariably they are both disappointed." (Albert Einstein)

Today's youth believe in themselves rather than in parents or relatives to choose a partner. Women are educated and employed hence interaction with the other gender starts at an early age. Adolescents of today many a times take a premature decision only to realize later in life that their concept of love was not perfect and it has many other facets including the grey side to explore and understand.

True love always brings bliss, but only those who understand what true love is, get engaged in a love marriage in true sense and lead a successful married life. There are instances when people get married assuming they are in love and soon get separated realizing this one was not the one supposed to be.

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill.
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. --His reply

Arranged marriages are still popular but the way to choose the partner has changed drastically. Parents no more force the children for choosing a partner but modern marriages and social functions like bride bride-groom interactive get-togethers or matrimonial fares have become a popular place to interact and know each other prior to taking any decision to get engaged. People still accept that marriages are made in heaven but they have realized that commitments need to be fulfilled and understanding has to be there to cope up and sustain many hurdles in life only on this earth in reality. Love marriage or marriage love (arranged marriage) what matters is true love i.e., fulfilling the commitments, sacrificing the selfish motives, belongingness, standing always with partner in sun and shower, trust, adaptability and finally contentment or satisfaction . Rituals, customs, tradition, social stigmas, way of living and legal bindings keep on changing with time. Only the true love that unites the two souls eternally never changes.

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates

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